Terry Jones' Barbarians (2006) and Terry Jones' Medieval Lives (2004)

 Oof. I admit to having had higher hopes for this one. Terry Jones is a favourite of mine. His illness and death was as keenly felt as if we were related. The topic in this one is tackling the sentiment that the view on barbarian peoples was slanted due to the domination and scorched earth policy of imperial Rome.

 

It's over four episodes, which reflect the original TV series, on the Celts, the Goths, the Persians the Huns. Of course, this isn't a historical reference book - it's an accompanying book of a television programme, created and presented by a celebrated humourist. So, while some insights are interesting, this is very light entertainment and not deep. Some of the sub-topics on each of the peoples are as short as only a few paragraphs long.

Not being an historical reference book it does commit a couple of other deadly sins. The first is that in the effort to push away their self-perceived slant from Roman history, they went too far the other way, usually in a very simplistic, poorly referenced, manner. Perhaps it would lose its edge as an entertainment piece but the approach is less than scientific as the authors try to win the reader over how these peoples were actually a whole lot better than the Romans ever were. Strangely, while continuously pointing out that Romans and Catholics erased a lot of barbarians' written history, and how the Roman authors wrote inane or unfactual documents, more often than not they used those very same authors, particularly Julius Caesar and Plutarch as their reference.

The second sin is, even more unfortunate, the lack of historical context as many features are clearly looked at with modern eyes and in the modern context which, in a historical book (light entertainment or not) is simply inane. More disappointing is the lack of broad humour. As there are two authors signing on, it's not clear who wrote what. There are a few quips but it stops at that. This is, if anything, a real let-down. Most chapters include some sort of anecdotal evidence on some historical figure but it's mostly devoid of real interest - you'd be better served elsewhere if you were looking for deep knowledge.

As it is, the book is quite light reading and perhaps a prod to explore some of its issues in more in-depth books. Unfortunately there's little substance and quite an un-scientific approach with only the slightest hint of Terry's humour. In all, an unfortunate edition that perhaps would fare better on screen. 

The book on medieval times is somewhat similar. Now, there are eight episodes, each dedicated to a strata or occupation (Peasant, Monk, Damsel, Minstrel, Knight, Philosopher (Alchemist), Outlaw, King). Strangely despite this the book is almost one hundred pages shorter than the barbarians one. The premise is the same: they state that "medieval" like "barbaric" has a negative connotation and propose to give the reader a different view.

 

However, and again, there's very little depth here, with anecdotes on historical figures like Chaucer, Robin Hood (?) and Henry VIII, and various trivia and tidbits - honestly, at times it reads like a "fun" book for young teens. The disappointment continues with the apparent lack of Terry's wit, while pretty much going through the same lack of references of the other book. While the barbarian book also tried to give a full scope western and eastern people, here the focus is very much anglocentric, thus becoming needlessly narrow, to almost razor-thin levels of knowledge.

In all, quite a disappointment.

Alan Partridge: Every Ruddy Word (2013)

 Ah-ha!

 

Alan Partridge is the famous Steve Coogan character, now well over 30 years old but still popping out every couple of years with a special. Collected in this book are the complete scripts of the regular shows. Even though the character was born in The Day Today sketch show, only his standard Partridge shows are collected, from Knowning Me Knowing You and beyond.

As always with these books I'm amazed at how well written everything is, to the point it comes alive while playing in your head. Whether I remembered the episodes or not, it was always a thrill. This is particularly surprising considering the character, despite brilliant writers and directors contributing to it, as well as its co-stars, has always been a Coogan vehicle. Even so, it still shines on, you can hear his voice in your head, and, moreso, see his daft expression.

 This sort of humour is hard to describe, part mockumentary it predates The Office by about ten years (surprising to imagine this). It's the highly faulty hugely self-obsessed character comedy, perhaps leaning more into "ha-ha" than Gervais would later on. As it's such a long running character that, at the same time, accompanied Steve Coogan's rise from young comedian to Hollywood star, it's also a boon to be able to read back to where it all began and see how everything evolved until now.

I love script books, can't get enough of them. I'm more entertained than watching it on TV. I hope to find more!

February 2025 wrap-up

In February 2025 I....

 

Played: Darius Cozmic Collection (2021); G-Darius HD (2022); Guardian Force - Saturn Tribute (1998; 2022); Assetto Corsa (2014); Steel Empire (1992, 2018); Rolling Gunner (2018); Shooting Game KARI (1997; 2022); Strikers 1945 (1995, 2020); Zero Gunner 2- (2001, 2020); Drainus (2022)

Got: The Sea Will Claim Everything (2016); Thaumistry: In Charm's Way (2017).

Favourite: The top 3 is Assetto Corsa, TRIZEAL Remix and  Drainus... while I played Assetto Corsa more, the favourite has to be Drainus. It's familiarly nostalgic but at the same time so innovative it's hard not to be enchanted with it. Assetto Corsa is a different beast but ended up with some niggles (perhaps due to excessive play) - the gameplay is certainly there but some of its more "gamey" aspects get in the way of the experience - unlike the wonderful long gone F355 Challenge.

Read: The Dictionary of Imaginary Places (1980, 1999); Teddy Boys: Post-War Britain and the First Youth Revolution (2024); SEGA CD Summer (2022); GameCube Anthology (2018); Alan Partridge: Every Ruddy Word (2013).

Got: Memoirs Of A Mangy Lover; Terry Jones' Barbarians: An Alternative Roman History; Terry Jones' Medieval Lives.

Favourite: Not a great month for reading. The Dictionary of Imaginary Places is, of course, a brilliant book but too uneven to consider it a classic. The Alan Partridge script book, as all script books, is good but the character itself is a bit grating. In the end, I always have a soft spot for amateurish books with a lot of heart so SEGA CD Summer, being a novel, ended up providing a different and original view that was entertaining and didn't overstay its welcome.

Listened to (new): nought

Got: nought

Favourite (new): nought

Final thoughts: This month the enthusiasm seems to have died down a bit. Reading was ample but the books were generally long and not filled with gems. The games were very one-sided with shooters with a big dose of driving simulation. Reading back my January wrap-up I can confirm that while I tried to play more music, I didn't feel very into it and listening is still in the pits.

This was a month marked by significative professional changes and perhaps the hectic lifestyle added to the lack of interest. It also spurred an interest in offline activities as I'm waiting to fulfill the old dream of learning to ride a motorcycle. And, even in the last couple of days I've been turned on to other activities like small plane flying or boat driving.

Writing has also beenin the pits, perhaps due to having burned myself out. I am satisfied that with only two months gone this has already been the most fruitful year this blog has add in blog posts alone.

I have also stuck with buying less games. It's true I bought my first two games of the year this month but they were for a pittance. I have also reduced my wishlist to just 3 very modest games that, even still, I will wait for a sale on. I can say that currently I'm not really looking forward to playing anything. I do still have about two columns worth of installed games but I can surely keep playing old favourites and ones I already have that I haven't gone far in.

I have also stuck with evicting the Az book store and in a very satisfying way. We'll see how it gets on with new books or self-published ones in the coming months...

The games I played perhaps reflect the need to shut off my brain. Shoot'em ups and driving games are great for precisely this reason: you get in the zone and just think about doing as best as you can with no story distractions or complex mechanics or thinking. In the end, though, the feeling of having played just to pass the time creeps in, as apart from becoming good at the specific games, there's no significative cultural gain. As for books as I said, it wasn't a great month. The Imaginary Places book and the GameCube book were very long and uneven. Alan Partridge's book was good but perhaps the script book I have enjoyed less, perhaps because the series is somewhat less than a classic. As for music I keep just listening in the car. But because of now having a shorter commute, I have probably listened even less. I keep my YouTube block going... It will be one year next month.

In March perhaps with a hotter weather I will feel more comfortable playing (it really is not a great instrument to play when it's very cold or very warm). I plan to go through a few more shoot'em ups before I give a go to something else - perhaps later in the month. I'm looking forward to reading the books I got this month in March. I have always loved Groucho's writing (I was intending to re-read the three I already have) and I have never read a Terry Jones book - mixing this with History as a favourite subject should be a bonus. What is my goal? I perhaps won't set a goal but one of these days, a weekend, I will have to commit to logging in to YouTube and catch up. I'm sure that'll kickstart some great music I've been missing out on. And hopefully by this time next month I will have ridden a motorbike for the first time or, at least, about to. Fingers crossed!

Yet more shooting games (SG Kari, Strikers, ZG2-, Drainus)

Shooting Game KARI (1997; 2022): This is a barebones verical doujin shooter, a commercial adaptation of the original from 1997. With this knowledge in mind you have to admire that the adaptation is well made. The menus are slick and it plays very well in 4K. There is a lack of screen and controller options but otherwise it's functional if a little barebones.

The gimmick here is the ability to choose a wide or straight shot at will (indexed to different buttons). And that's it: no powerups, no levels, no bombs. You have a health bar which is still a rarity and an interesting scoring system that values the risk taking behaviour of shooting closer to the enemy. While the health bar might make it seem like it's more forgiving, take care as there are no extra lives or continues: when it's over, it's over (but the shield refills after each stage).

Visually it's not great. The designs are very bland, the bullets are almost ridiculous and the explosions very fake-looking. However, if there's one thing you can count on doujin games is a lot of inventiveness. The game totally takes you by surprise. The first couple of stages are so disalarmingly simple that you get completely blown away by how incredible the next ones are. There's an element here of old Toaplan (apart from the spirit crushing it reminds me a lot of my favourite Slap Fight), as there's a lot of emphasis to keep moving and a lot of unpredictable and untelegraphed attacks that always keep you on your toes. Key to this is the small size of your craft, as well as the small size of bullets. This allows you to weave gracefully, confidently and fortuitously and keep avoiding and shooting without cluttering the screen with information you don't need.

While the boss designs, like the enemies, are very bland sprites, the attack patterns keep getting better and better. There are three difficulty levels and a practice mode. The presence of the health bar and no lives or continues ends up giving the game a special boost in the adrenaline department. Being close to death will have you grinding away to beat the stage so you can refill, giving more of a survival hue to the action. You're not dependent on the luck of a powerup or amassing lives. The fine line between game on and game over makes for an exhilarating experience especially in conjunction with the quick evasive controls and concentrated shooting. In the end, this is a very interesting, shoot and run, game. Very simple at heart, very visually unimpressive but the meat of the game is all there, in a well made addictive package full of play. What's even better? The game is completely free to download. Amazing.

 

Strikers 1945 (1995, 2020): This is an arcade game through and through. Short stages, lovely animations and impressive graphics. Gameplay is solid if unspectacular. You have a regular shot and bomb, which you can upgrade with a few options. Death gets you a running restart but downgrades you back to the pea shooter. This is equal to a game over situation sometimes as the base gun is close to useless during late stage.

This is another great edition by City Connection. Lots of controller, game and screen options. Unfortunately, no 4K mode is available. The setting is not a straight war game like 1942 but offers a more cybernetic take with lots of giant robots about too. I'm not much for jingoistic settings but I felt this was one of the more harmless ones. However, it's not terribly appealing either.

Due to the short stages there is a lot of variety. Compounded by this are a lot of different fighters to select, which play marginally different. The meat of the game is the score attack. While beating it by itself is a problem, doing so while maximizing score is quite another. The biggest issue really is with death leaving you helpless in the battlefield. This is not aided one bit by the relatively large size of your hitbox, which makes avoiding things, particularly with the festival of animations going around you and in the background a real challenge. Perhaps to aid to the impressive visuals bullets are often quite fast - faster than your aircraft, in fact. So it's easy to feel overwhelmed by the unfairness.

In all, I didn't find much to enjoy here that I couldn't enjoy in other shooters. But if you're into the setting, this is a really solid and well-made shooter, with impressive visuals and animations and quick gameplay, all in a very modern reissue package. Perhaps one of the least original of Psykio's games but at the same time one of the slickest arcade experiences they made.

 

Zero Gunner 2- (2001, 2020): Technically this is an identical re-release to Strikers from City Connection. Still no 4K, but plenty of other game, controller and screen configurations. This is a great looking, 3D, Naomi-era game. Thematically it's not too dissimilar to Strikers with its militaristic giant robot slant (now in 3D). The gimmick now is that you control one of three choppers. This means that this is one of the rare vertical shooters with a 16:9 screen. Why? Because you can rotate at will, like a chopper would, turning this into a multidirectional shooter stuck inside an arcade type vertical shooter.

Unfortunately this doesn't work with analog sticks. Rather, when you press the turn button, you turn instead of moving. While this must read as more complicated than it should, it actually makes sense mechanically in the context of the helicopter gimmick. So, this isn't like a simple free moving object, but a heavy object that goes in a direction, but needs to be operated to turn. It adds complexity, of course, but that complexity works in the game's favour (otherwise it would be too mindless).

Presentation is great. I have a soft spot for the bright, crisp Naomi board graphics and this looks as good as any. Gameplay is often interrupted by dramatic cutscenes that still look impressive and energetic. The rotation mechanic might feel weird at first but it actually controls pretty well. This means, of course, that enemies come from all sides. Avoiding stray bullets or even barging into enemies is a challenge in harder difficulties, of course. Gameplay is otherwise pretty simple with a shot and bomb, and the ability to upgrade them. Enemy and boss designs are not great at first but increasingly become more impressive. Like in Strikers the best is left for last, and the "King Kong" boss and stage, and especially the elevator stage are particulary impressive.

Like Strikers the game suffers from its uninteresting setting. Militarism is a dime a dozen and ditto giant robots. The gameplay is more compelling but one wonders if it wouldn't sit better in a different skin. As it is it's a fine game that is definitely memorable from its original mechanics and impressive arcade like bells and whistles and gameplay that clash highly with its rather forgettable setting. The high octane impressions will however live long.

 

Drainus (2022): This is a really interesting and impressive take on the horizontal shooter genre. While menu presentation is sparse, as soon as you begin you find the game is peppered with lots of visual detail. These are superbly animated sprites with 3D effects to boot. The action is very well set, very dynamic, with impressive enemy designs.There's quite an effort made with the story too. It's not terribly interesting of course, but offers a lot more than the average smattering we usually get.

Gameplay-wise this is nothing if not ambitious. Central to the gimmick is the ability to absorb energy shots and then release that energy into blasts. This means you have to manage when to expose yourself to enemy fire so you can use it to your advantage, without overloading your shield and take damage. Not only that but you can also upgrade your ship through a menu-based system between stages. This ends up being the most game-changing feature as it works unlike upgrades usually work in these games but more like an RPG: you collect power-up flasks and have lots of different ways to spend them on: shot variations, missiles (secondary weapon), options or even just upgrading your attack power or the strength of your shields. And, of course, a myriad of variations of these. This sort of depth is incredibly rare. 

The setting is not terribly exciting by itself although the story adds a lot of drama. Characters are anime-types but otherwise fairly passable. This is something else regarding the melding of set pieces, gameplay and graphical effects. There's a sense of gravity to the set pieces that translates beautifully to the designs and amazing 3D effects as well as gameplay. A superb section with a free-rolling camera in a huge space station that ended with a physics based puzzle before another fantastic boss battle was a particular highlight. Apart from that there's a sense of hommage present as the developers pay their dues to the greats of the genre, in particular Gradius and R-Type but even Starfox as well. The dramatic action actually tires one out, and the menu between stages is actually a welcome chance for a breather. Taking their liberties and not actually making an arcade game, they've managed to create something something that hits differently from an arcade game, but still provide plenty of thrills.

Apart from the huge replayability added by the depth of the upgrade system the campaign itself is quite long and there are also secrets to find and hidden story snippets. In all, this is a success. A marvelous, modern game that respects its origins but builds to the future in a complete package. It's really that impressive. Hard not to recommend!

Rolling Gunner (2018)

This a doujin horizontal bullet hell shooter game. Presentation is excellent although not fully optimized for 4K. On the other hand there are plenty of configuration settings, including gameplay, difficulty, screen and controller settings.

You have three ships to choose from: one having a wider shot but being slower to move, another having a narrower shot and faster to move, and another in between. Despite the simple controls gameplay is quite nuanced and sitting through the minute and a half tutorial is a good idea. You always have a firing option that always shoots in the opposite direction from where you move (move left, it shoots right, move up it shoots down, and so forth). This is usually used in slower shooters (R-Type, Gradius, Gynoug) where movement is more deliberate. In a bullet hell you necessarily have to move a lot in small areas, so the option is rarely firing to where you want it to. However, you can set it with the power shot, thus mowing down enemies more effectively. Mastering the positioning of the option and maximizing shot power is key as enemies come from all sides. As always you'll face an easier time if you mow down enemies as they appear and don't give them the chance to fill the screen with bullets. If you get hit, you auto-detonate a bomb to clear the screen so you'll get a fighting chance to start over (as long as you got bombs in stock).

Environments are colourful. Every stage is interset with an impressive cutscene that puts many games with a bigger budget to shame: they look fantastic. This is especially exciting and also gives a sense of progression and journey to the action. The enemy designs are often forgettable, going for a generic science fiction, giant robot style, with bosses usually having imposing design. While visually impressive, the rivers of bullets end up giving the feeling of a very underpowered character, which is unaided by the lack of power ups. As most bosses are generally static, you're basically just avoiding their bullets for as long as you can as your own bullets chink away at their vitality bar at a very low rate. Even in "casual" mode things get very tough indeed from the second stage on.

The patterns are fantastic and bullets are always very visible and not confusing with the background. The presence of a visual hitpoint on the player's character definitely helps maneuvering between bullets, and becoming better and more confident in weaving through. The setting is not as original as something like Mushihimesama but this is an incredibly solid package from gameplay to presentation to settings that, when you strip away its context, is the essence of bullet hell gameplay distilled to a very fine degree - here with the added bonus of excellent presentation and extensive configuration options that help improve one's skills, and even to apply said learned skills to other games of the same subgenre. Thus the game's small failings however are not its own fault but the faults of bullet hell per se. For these reasons it is otherwise probably my ideal recommendation for anyone wanting to get into bullet hell. Additionally, if you're already into bullet hell this might be one of the strongest examples of the genre. True that it isn't an arcade game originally but it has the fine weaving, the amazing bullet patterns, very impressive bosses in one of the most rounded packages available, especially from doujin developers. For those not interested in this subgenre it might be too much but still a solid game and worth a few entertaining attempts.

Steel Empire (1992; 2018)

 Steel Empire is a quirky horizontal shoot'em up that was originally released on the SEGA Mega Drive in 1992. It has a lot of things that set it apart. Starting with gameplay, despite being a horizontal shooter, apart from two short sections there aren't the usual environmental hazards. This is mainly due to, I suspect, its main gameplay feature: the ability to shoot backwards as well as ahead thus making level design usually with the player in a central position as enemies fly in from the right and left. Unfortunately, you can only ever shoot forwards OR backwards and never both at the same time. While interesting in theory, in practice it's a fiddly proposition especially in higher difficulties. The barebones button configuration does not allow using right and left triggers on a controller, which would be a lot less clunky and quicker to use than X and B on the Xbox controller configuration.

 But it goes on, this is one of the rare shooters with a life bar as well as the ability to recharge said bar via power-ups. Regarding firepower both ships just have one type of weapon. However, you can upgrade it up to twenty levels (by picking up 3 power-ups). As I alluded it to, there are two ships. One slow and strong, another fast and fragile. With these many options and gimmicks it's disappointing that the shooting never feels great. It only ever gets faster but as the enemies you face get harder, there isn't a sense of progression.

The final thing that sets it apart is the setting. This is a steampunk game so think trains, zeppelins, and biplanes. The planes especially are somewhat animalized as they flap their wings like birds. It's not exactly cutesy but somewhat toy or Disney-like and there's a similarity to Irem's In the Hunt, but not so richly animated. Then again this is originally a 16 bit console game, not an arcade game. For what it is, it's really quite good and very original. The character design is strong and charismatic. Yet the bosses are quite repetitive, and disappointing in their patterns, usually having you having to fly ahead or behind so you can shoot their weak points. The exception is the final (true) boss which is quite a delight and a surprise.

Presentation on this PC port is a mixed bag. On the one hand the graphics are quite overhauled from the 30 year old original. But the menus are bare and poor with very few settings available and cheap looking menus. It has, however, modest controller configuration (rather than none at all) and various difficulty settings. However, the game is very well upscaled for high definition, a tier above what most other smaller publishers have achieved.

In the end this is quite an original shooter, even if not everything makes sense as an innovation. Its different setting and replayability, having different difficulty settings and different ships, as well as a reasonably long campaign and hidden boss makes it a worthwhile investment of your time, especially if you're not into modern shooters or bullet hell. The game is very accessible to get into for newcomers too, perhaps an ideal starting point. Finally the original setting and presentation is still very fresh after all these years.

The Dictionary of Imaginary Places (1980; 1999)

This is a wonderful book, the kind you're grateful someone actually made this. This is, in fact, a compilation of imaginary places in fiction, from a wide berth of literature, from Homer to Rowling. Perhaps because the authors are Argentinian and Italian, it seems Umberto Eco and Italo Calvino's books, in particular the latter's Invisible Cities, were the great instigators to this work. On the other hand there are very few non-european or north american authors.

The dictionary is presented like an encyclopedia, in alphabetical order, a description of the place, occasionally a map or illustration, when it is so described and the reference work. The fact that the reference comes last is perhaps my only criticism as descriptions are long and often go beyond the same page. It makes more sense to me that they would list the original author and work right at the beginning, rather than having to skip to the next page and go back.

The authors' self-imposed rules are simple in that only locations on planet Earth and in the past or present are included: nothing in the future or other planets thus excluding a lot of science fiction and its more otherwordly themes. As you'd imagine there is a lot of JRR Tolkien but also the likes of Rice Burroughs, CS Lewis and non-English writers like Borges or Rabelais. It's a real treat that the authors took upon themselves to review such a wealth of literature and condense it in encyclopedic form, describing each location thoroughly in terms of place, population, customs and any other objective or subjective information. There is also an authorial feel to it. The commentary has an artistic slant rather the objectiveness to a fault present in most dictionaries. The illustrations are often surrealistic. And the selection as well, being in concept an unfinishable book has to take into account the sensibilities of the authors. Thus, rather than a dictionary it is something you can casually read from start to finish rather than just as a reference book.

The fact that it is centered on planet Earth and in present or past times was a good idea. The descriptions become a little more believable, with an air of surreality. In fact, I was often reminded of 80 Days or Savannah or the strange worlds from Cyan (Worlds) - themselves very familiar and human-like, but odd all the same - applicable, of course, to all fantasy realms. A limitation, due to the subject matter, is that even though there is the odd smattering of 18th and 14th century literature, the bulk is XXth century. As it is somewhat intrinsically related to a literature style, some periods are void of these sort of places and imagination. I found especially odd that they consider Middle-earth and Earthsea as being on Planet Earth, particularly as they take up quite a bit of entries by themselves. Perhaps due to being "earth" places? I will put it down as a director's cut type of decision...

I should also add that there are some non-literature entries, like film (Freedonia from Duck Soup), the land from Tannhäuser (play/opera) ... You would imagine a revised edition would include a few from video games. In all a real treat of over 700 pages (excluding index and references) which should appeal to any book afficionado.